I cannot even begin to properly express how I feel about this year. My SO and I went through the heartbreaking and incredibly intense emotional experience that is house hunting. A tornado passed through right behind where I worked and near the location of a home we had under contract. COVID-19, enuf said there. Navigating unemployment. Coming back from unemployment to a retail world changed completely by COVID-19. Having just cleaned up that mess to be sent home from work and be out of work for approximately 2 months culminating in surgery. Coming back to work under post surgery restrictions. Trying to clean up that mess while finalizing our house shopping because we actually lost the one near the tornado path due to my SO’s house not selling in a timely fashion (terrible realtor). Finding out my place of employment was being sold to a multi-location and profit-minded company that had no idea what I did in my job position and refused any and all offers to provide them with a job description, statistics on volume and profitability or even to walk someone through it on the phone. Realizing that I’ve now had 4 medical professionals tell me to quit this job for health reasons in the last year. Quitting (I HATE quitting jobs and have rarely done it.) The closing day for our house moving back one day at a time for an entire week. The housewarming for our house being moved as a result. Having to return the U-haul truck as a result. Having to reschedule the professionals that were moving my piano as a result. Finally having our housewarming party and being surprised with a proposal from my SO (I said yes 😉 ). Rescheduling EVERYTHING to get the house set up. Spending the main focus of my life for the next 3 weeks moving…and I’m still not done yet.

Y’all… I am TIRED…

Meanwhile,

• I’ve discovered Last Week Tonight.
• I’ve been able to play my custom piano for the first time since 2014. (It sounds terrible because it doesn’t get tuned until next week, but I can play it.)
• I’ve finally begun teaching private music lessons again (virtually)
• I’ve had the chance to just sit and watch the pets enjoy the screened in back porch we worked so hard to acquire for them.
• I’ve very nearly gotten my gut to recover from pre-surgery testing.
• I’ve been able to look at so many things from my previous way of life and just…let them go… because I don’t need them anymore.
• We have a jetted tub, y’all, and it’s been so helpful for this healing process.
• I have a partner that is actively encouraging me to rebuild my business, create an online store and set up a Patreon.
• I finally feel like I have the time to be a person, not just a productivity machine.

So 2020 has definitely been terrifying with the virus and the protesting and the Us vs Themism that’s rampant right now, but it hasn’t been the worst year of my life. And I’m really grateful for that.

I miss expressing myself. I really don’t know that anyone is even reading this stuff, but I miss just being able to gather my thoughts on a subject and leave them here in this virtual box.

So here’s to getting back into costuming, quilting, cross-stitching and music. Basically, here’s to being a person again.